Don’t you feel lonely sometimes when you are travelling solo? asked The Crying Belgian Man. With his sad eyes, he looked a bit like an abandoned puppy. I met him in Ohrid. Over a glass of Skopsko beer, he told me his life story. He travelled on his motorbike through the Balkans to deal with the heartbreak as if kilometres would have a magical capability to heal the soul. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was a good question. A few years ago, my answer would be No, I don\u2019t feel lonely when I travel<\/em>. Everything on my first trip alone was new and exciting. There was no room for loneliness. Other emotions filled all the space: joy, fear, and occasionally pure euphoria. But over time, all of these faded, freeing some territory for occasional loneliness. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Some people are terrified of loneliness when travelling alone. Of having no one to talk to, of the long evenings filled with silence, of feeling like a weirdo when walking alone on the streets full of joyful groups of tourists. Why do we fear it so much if there is no harm in it? How can we cope with feeling lonely on the road or even embrace it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Loneliness is just an emotion. Sure, it is not enjoyable. It makes you feel inadequate, out of place. Sometimes it manifests as a slight tingling in all my body. Quite an unpleasant sensation. Understandably, our first instinct is to get rid of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I used to push it away, pretend it doesn\u2019t exist, drown it out. Smile and find a distraction, keep myself occupied. Now I just let it be. As soon as I acknowledge: I am a bit lonely now, but I know it will pass, it just becomes less bothering. You just learn to live with it. You don\u2019t kill the monster, only tame it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Sometimes it is helpful to observe your emotions. Am I lonely because I see people around, with their partners or friends, and I project that they are happier than I am? Am I scared of something? Understimulated and bored? Or maybe I am just hungry?<\/p>\n\n\n\n I know, the last one sounds like a completely random idea: how the hell can someone confuse being hungry with being lonely? Surprisingly, the same circuits in your brain are responsible for your drive for social interactions and craving food, so you really can feel more lonely when you are hungry. Or binge-eat when feeling lonely. (Check out the great podcast of neuroscientist Andrew Huberman (38:05 for this specific topic) to learn more about it. I recommend you to listen to the whole episode, that gives a lot of interesting scientific information about our social life).<\/p>\n\n\n\nAccepting loneliness<\/h2>\n\n\n\n